Has God Changed?

Do you believe that God is real, that nothing has changed, that He still heals and uses very imperfect people (sinners), just like He did throughout the Bible;

Or do you think that He has changed how He works, and that the only people He wants to use are seemingly blameless and above reproach?

Really, what do YOU think?  

If you believe the latter, you might just change your mind after reading Stand at the Cross Roads!

Caught in a swirling vortex?

The first chapter of Stand at the Cross Roads begins with this question,  "In resolving our issues, are we doomed to repeat them over and over, to relive the same situation until we finally get it right?"    What are your thoughts on this subject?

Available Now

The book I wrote, Stand at the Cross Roads, came out a few weeks ago, but so many people are still asking me when it will be available that I  guess I'm not doing this "social networking thing" right.  Not a big surprise for anyone that know me very well!!!!    Anyway you can order it from  your preferred on-line retailer - Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iUniverse.com, etc... in softcover, hardcover or as an ebook.  It can also be ordered from your local bookseller using the ISBN# 978-1-4620-2426-1. 


I have been humbled beyond belief by the wonderful reception that the book has received from so many of you.  Thank you for your feedback, your warm affirmations and for sharing this testimony to God's goodness with your friends.   


I pray that this open and honest look at my life and walk with Christ will be received in the spirit intended - a  testament to what God can do through the most unlikely of people. 


Wish me luck with getting the word out in spite of my technological limitations and cut me some slack when, not if, I get it wrong!!!!

Book Launch!

It's been a long haul, my friends, but, praise God, the book Stand at the Cross Roads  is finally available.  Below is the Press Release that will be going out shortly.  In the meantime, you can order it from your local bookseller, your preferred on-line retailer or iUniverse.com. It is also available as an ebook.  

It is my ardent prayer that this testimony to God's grace and empowerment will encourage anyone standing at a crossroads in search of hope and a future.  

**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**

EDITORS: For review copies or interview requests, contact:

Marketing Services

Tel: 800-288-4677

Fax: 812-961-3133

Email: promotions@iuniverse.com

(When requesting a review copy, please provide a street address.)

Autobiography Reveals Unlikely Woman’s Call to Action

Faith leads her to risk everything in pursuit of her vision

CALDWELL, Texas –Hilda Hellums Baker’s new autobiography, written with Chris Rogers, Stand at the Cross Roads: A True Story of an Imperfect Woman, an Uncertain Future, and a Mission That Would Change Lives Forever (published by iUniverse), is the story of a woman that you wouldn’t expect to have much to offer the world, much less the Christian community. Plagued by a series of painful divorces, financial setbacks and the struggles of single motherhood she had reached the end of her rope.

   

One sultry morning, at a retreat in south Texas, Hilda Baker sensed a voice whose message ignited a passion in her and catapulted her from cosmopolitan Houston to Chriesman, Texas – population seventy – and then into a remote, rugged wilderness. Arriving with little more than a U-Haul trailer crammed with her worldly belongings, and with her sixteen-year-old daughter in tow, she began the task God had entrusted her to complete.

This courageously honest, fast paced, hard-to-put down book takes you along on Baker’s gripping true-life adventure and shares the many insights she gained as she worked to carve a sanctuary out of a dense forest. Despite the hardships, or maybe because of them, she was transformed in the process.

Through her perseverance, strength of will and unwavering faith, the Cross Roads Retreat has become a place of transformation for countless others and a testament to what God can do through the most unlikely of people.

About the Author

In addition to being the founder, volunteer director and chairman of the board of Cross Roads Retreat, Hilda Hellums Baker also shares her passion for spiritual formation as a founding member of Area 3:16, a church started in her adopted hometown of Caldwell, Texas. Hilda is also active in the Brazos Valley Emmaus Community, a program for spiritual renewal and the development of Christian leaders.

PRINTING NOW!

It's been 5 months since my last post, and I said on the Stand at the Cross Roads Facebook page, I have been stymied at every turn in getting this book published. My frustration with the  "process" took a huge toll on my frame of mind.  There were daily problems, errors, mis-communications, and corrections, ad nauseam and, quite frankly, I  got just as tired of writing negative updates, as you must have gotten reading them.

 On top of that, for the last few months, while battling with the publisher, I have also been writhing in self-doubt about what my friends and family might think about me, and the things about me, that I shared so openly in this story.  Although the test readers, including several family members,  overwhelming supported the book, I was still unsettled.  

However, God has used this time to further assure me, through my Christian friends and family, that it truly is His will for me to share my story.  My story?  No, His story.  This story is about God keeping the promise He made in 2 Corinthians 12:8-9  where Christ says"... “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  This story is about how God prefers to use weakness, weak and broken people,  to accomplish His will and how He went about doing that through me.

Monday, I realized that I had to get out of God's way and quit stalling and fixing the Stand at the Cross Roads manuscript, so, I took a deep breath and sent it to the printer.  In spite of me, it won't be long now before God will be able to use His story to reveal once again His faithfulness and continuing pursuit of real and personal relationships with His people.  All glory to God!

Moving On

The rejection from CrossBooks really knocked my knees out from under me, but, thanks to the encouragement and support many of you sent my way, I'm back on my feet and moving on!

I never heard back from CrossBooks or LifeWay - so, I finally contacted them.  Apparently, Dr. Drake never received the manuscript from his own people and now doesn't have time to review it.  

No worries, as my mom used to say.  I am now lined up with another publisher, materials are all submitted and hopefully in eight to twelve weeks we should have a book and an e-book.  Praise God!

Still waiting ... and researching other resources!

No word yet from LifeWay's CrossBooks.  If no positive response, or no response at all,  by next Monday, I'm ready to move forward with another self-publisher.  Please pray for me to recognize God's will for this book!

Reconsidering....

Dr. Stephen D. Drake, D. Min., Director, Corporate Relations, President of the LifeWay Bible Society has agreed to personally read the entire manuscript and offer his thoughts, and I have agreed to consider them.

In the meantime I will continue to research other Print On Demand providers.   Please continue to pray that God opens the right door, to the right place, at the right time for this testimony to break free of the obstacles that have delayed it's publication.

Self-Publishing Rejection!?

Well, I can't even pay to have the book published.  I received an email from CrossBooks, a division of LifeWay,  this morning informing me that my manuscript did not pass their "Theological Review".  Apparently, my  history of divorce is not acceptable.


My reply,  "I will send my manuscript to a publisher who is more in touch with God's grace and redemptive power, which is what the book is about,  and is a much more  important and life changing message than submission in marriage."


Heck of a note, huh, can't even get a Christian self-publisher to take the book.  The evil one is truly pulling out all the stops, but I will not give up.  

I'm Ba-a-a-a-ack!

I have been so-o out of touch for so-o long.  As many of you know, George, Pat's dad, moved in with us last March.  Having him with us was truly a blessing and he was the focus of our lives for the following eight months. He passed away the day before Thanksgiving.   Travel to Missouri to take George home, catching up and the holidays consumed December and January.  But, I'm ba-a-a-a-ack now and I have news!

I finally listened to what God has been trying to tell me through many of you for months on end.  Last Monday I took action and signed with CrossBooks to self-publish Stand at the Cross Roads.  CrossBooks is affiliated with LifeWay and B&H Publishing.  The book will available for purchase online through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and LifeWay, plus their sales reps and I will promote it to other bookstores and venues.   There will also be an eBook version that will be available for purchase and download through Kindle, Apple iBooks, Barnes & Noble Reader and every other source of that type.  I am excited about the whole process.

Thank each of you for your support and encouragement, but it's not over yet!  Please pray for the Holy Spirit to move mightily through the good folks at CrossBooks, LifeWay and B&H Publishing in their effort to take this story of God's glory public.

Watch for updates here as Stand at the Cross Roads moves through the self-publishing process!

Blessings and thanks!

Hand Delivered

The mailman brought the mail to the door today, so I was spared the dreaded trip to the mailbox.  Instead he hand delivered the dreaded letter.  Moody Publishers said, "Thank you, but....this material does not fit in with our current publishing plans."  I took it really well.  Glad to finally have an answer, any answer.

I know what several of you are thinking.   You would be right.   You'd  think that I'd have learned by now to listen when different people keep coming to me with the same "thought" or "vision", that God might be using them to try to get through to me.   But, no!  I'm as hard headed as ever.

Anyway, as of today I will begin researching the ins and outs of self-publishing the book.   Thank all of you who have been so faithful in your support, prayers and GUIDANCE.  Especially, those who have sent me links and suggestions.  I will pursue every one of them.   Don't give up on me just yet!  Old dogs are slow learners.

The Morning After

Ed and Thresa Hull are amazingly gifted artisans.  Both hold down full time jobs, but their hobbies are where their hearts are.  Ed spends most of his spare time in this woodworking shop patiently shaping exotic wood into incredible multi-hued, multi-textured bird "mansions" and other pieces of wood art.  Thresa and Ed work together painstakingly piecing together brilliantly colored shards of stained glass on phenomenal projects that take up another entire workshop.  It is hard to accept that their extraordinary talents are just a "hobby".  

A little over a year ago Thresa Hull attended a retreat here at Cross Roads.    At the end of the weekend, Thresa told me that the Holy Spirit had touched her deeply during her stay here and she wanted to give something back. I told her that wasn't necessary, but she asked if we had ever considered putting stained glass windows in the Chapel. "Of course!", I said, "It's on the list, but, not very high, 'cuz it's so expensive."    

Ed and Thresa went to work applying their incredible talent to designing, making and then donating exquisite stained glass windows for the Cross Roads Chapel. It took them an entire year.  Each window is half of a sunrise behind a cross.  When you look at the front of the Chapel you see three crosses - the two stained glass windows on either side with a sun rising behind them and the cross on top of the Chapel.   The windows are titled, "The Morning After".   This photo doesn't do them justice.  On your next visit to the Cross Roads you'll see what I mean!

"The Morning After"

Created and Donated by Ed and Thresa Hull 

Thank you, Ed and Thresa, your gift will bless everyone who comes to Cross Roads! 

The Dreaded Mailbox

On September 13th I mailed the book proposal for Stand at the Cross Roads to Moody Publishers.  The submission guidelines required a Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope be included in the package.  The guidelines further informed me that if they were interested in the book they would contact me by phone, if declining, I would receive notification by mail.  Hence the requested SASE.

The last 29 days have been the longest days of my life! Every morning around 10AM I climb in our Kawasaki mule and slowly drive the 1/2 mile to the dreaded mailbox - praying, praying, praying along the way that the equally dreaded letter is not inside.

Everyday has been increasingly difficult.  I drive slower, open the box slower,  hold my breath a little longer as I sift through the contents, then WHOOSH! I exhale!  So far, so good, no SASE addressed to me in my own handwriting has been lurking inside!  

The instructions also stated that I should receive a response to the proposal within one month of their receiving it.  Well, friends, tomorrow is 30 calendars days and I am conflicted beyond belief.  Part of me just KNOWS that God is going to make this happen through Moody Publishers, because it would truly be the perfect ending to the story and I can't imagine them not recognizing this opportunity and being excited about the connection.  The other part of me tells me not to get my hopes up, that we can't know what God's will is and if this doesn't work out He has something even better in mind for getting His story out.   Then I feel guilty for doubting.   


Anyway, please continue to pray for His will - and my strength to keep opening that dreaded mailbox!

Good news/Bad News....

Well, I've got good news and not so good news.  Tate Publishers did not work out.  They offered me a contract, but, wanted $5,000...and when I had a question or two, they never called me back.  OH WELL!  The good news is that in the meantime, I discovered that Moody Bible Institute has a publishing division.   The story virtually began with God leading me to a piece of obscure rural property owned by the Moody Bible Institute!  Their website states that they do not accept unsolicited manuscripts from unpublished authors, but, after a few emails I received permission  to send them Stand at the Cross Roads. I think it's intriguing to think that the story could come full circle if Moody chooses to publish the story that God used them to kick-start!!!!!  SO KEEP PRAYING!  I mailed it Saturday.

Last Weekend

No one calls a year in advance to book a retreat, then follows through promptly with a meticulously completed contract and a check for the full amount of the estimated cost.  It was unheard of,  at least until I got a call from the American Taekwondo Association.  They were looking for a place for prospective instructors to  gather for certification training.  Men, women,  and youth were signed up from all over Texas, and even as far away as Arkansas.  Centrally located, Cross Roads was the perfect spot.  They quickly snapped up a  weekend and wasted no time in nailing down the details. 

I regretted it immediately. A Taekwondo retreat?   They weren't coming to Cross Roads for a spiritual experience.  They were coming to experience the rush of kung fu fighting and the thrill of combat.  What was I thinking?  This had nothing to do with our mission at Cross Roads and I'd given away a prime Spring weekend.  A weekend that several of our regulars might want. But, there was nothing to be done about it at that point.  The ATA would be coming to Cross Roads. 

 Fall began to fade into winter, and the inquires for spring dates started rolling in.  I held my breath every time Jenny called to update me on what dates were being considered and by whom.  Weekends were being picked like grapes off a vine, except for  the ATA weekend.  No one even asked about that particular weekend in May. Go figure!

 A field of black suited Ninja's with red bandanas greeted me as I drove down the road to the camp.  I nearly ran over a pod of them as they posed, stretched, lurched and chopped at imaginary adversaries. And this was before breakfast! I just shook my head again and smiled, wondering just what God was going to do with this "happening" at the Cross Roads. 

We watched as they quietly lined up for breakfast without a prayer. It was a disconcerting first for us.  It was also obvious that this was the first time these folks had ever met each other, but they were friendly and very appreciative of the good hot 'healthy' food we had prepared at their "masters" request.  The line of fifty-five black clad figures snaked all the way around the room.  As they passed the serving window we chatted amicably with them, asking them where they were from, what level they had achieved in Taekwondo and whatever else came to mind.  

By the time they arrived back at the dining hall for lunch a sense of comaraderie had begun to take shape. The youth, still full of energy after a morning of intense physical activity, jostled each other as they stood in line. The adults turned blind eyes to their shennanigans and continued to talk with their new friends and to us as we served their plates.  One woman asked what church or denomination the camp was affiliated with. She looked surprised when we said,  "None, we're just a bunch of volunteers who do this because we think it's a good thing."  About twenty more folks streamed by before someone else asked the same question and got the same reply. 

The dinner bell rang at 6 o'clock and I would have sworn that a different group of people came through those doors.  They were laughing and joking like they'd known each other forever and this time lots of them wanted to know who we were and what organization or church ran the camp.  Each received the same answer as before.  It's just us. We do it because we love it.  After dinner we received a standing ovation for the great food, to which we replied, "All glory to God!"

The next morning I could not be there to serve them breakfast.  It was Sunday, and one of my granddaughters was being baptized at her church in Austin.   I wasn't going to miss that for anything.  But, when I got home the phone rang almost immediately.  Jenny must have seen me drive up the road.  I could hear the emotion in her trembling voice.   She said that one of the group was a youth director and was inquiring about bringing his youth to the camp.  I said, "Well, great, now I know why they were supposed to come to the Cross Roads!"   She said, "No, that was really good, but that's not the best part.  When they came in for breakfast this morning  they joined hands and prayed."  

All glory to God!  

Okay, then...

Excerpt from Chapter 32- Stand At The Cross Roads:  Nine years earlier, when Buddy came out to doze our driveway, I'd asked him to also clear out a notch on the hilltop. That spot was designated as the site for the Cross Roads chapel, which at the time was to be the first building we constructed. As our plans continuously morphed, building the chapel became a dream for the future...

I knew that Pat had been thinking about building the chapel for quite a while. Every time we attended a worship service at a different church or chapel I could see him counting heads, measuring walls, and figuring costs in his mind. He is so quick with numbers that I frequently joke that he’s my personal calculator. But now he was treading on sacred ground, planning to design the chapel I had dreamed of for so many years. My defenses flew up.

            "I’m not sure the chapel will fit on that spot without more dozer work," he said. "Not if we plan to fill it with a couple hundred people."

            "Well, it should. We planned for it when we dozed the site."

            "It’s better to plan big, scale down later, if necessary. I’ll look at it."

            The size wasn’t our only point of contention. The beauty of cedar siding or the easy maintenance of HardyiPlank? A trendy tin roof or composition shingles that were guaranteed to keep the interior cooler and quieter? A tile floor, carpet, or stained concrete? Square windows? Rectangular? High or low? Agreement did not come easily between us, and after all, it was his money. But it was my vision. The ghost of that perverted adage about the Golden Rule kept poisoning my mind

The Labyrinth

Excerpt from Chapter 31 - Stand At The Cross Roads: As I approached the edge of the canvas mat, to step back into the real world, I was both excited and joyful. I knew now why God wanted us to build a Prayer Labyrinth at Cross Roads.

            At home, I went straight to the Internet and studied every entry I could find on the subject of labyrinths, amazed at the number of different styles and types. They could be constructed of canvas or garden hedges, or simply outlined in rope or rock. Some were permanent, while others were drawn in sand or dirt and erased when no longer needed.

            I ordered books on how to build one. Surely it couldn’t be that hard, and we could certainly afford rope, or maybe even rock. The day the books arrived, I opened the package and sat down to absorb whatever I needed to know.

            Unfortunately, the secret of the labyrinth was math - not my strong suit, by far. This particular math was called "sacred geometry." Although I studied the books and the equations for several days, I knew it was hopeless.

            The right space would have to be located, and an area large enough for a labyrinth would have to be hacked out of the heavy woods. Using rock would make it permanent, but a lot of man, or woman, power would be needed to haul the rocks and place them properly.

            I talked to God that day in earnest confusion. I knew He wanted a Prayer Labyrinth built at Cross Roads, but once again, He had given me a job to do that seemed impossible. Getting no immediate answer, I despondently shoved the books onto the bookshelf, where they remained untouched until after I married Pat.

            Pat's degree is in statistics and mathematics. Perfect. I gave him the books and asked him to help figure out the secret. He dutifully read the materials, but once again the books ended up back on the shelf.

             Now, after all this time, the idea of building God’s Prayer Labyrinth might be possible after all. Not only was Melissa familiar with the subject, because her church possessed one, but the previous summer her pastor, Jo Hudson, had traveled the entire southeastern United States learning to build labyrinths. This was the very same Jo Hudson whose grandfather’s house I had bought from the Methodist church in Somerville.

            A coincidence?

Reverend Jo Hudson  

Sally Miller, Dr. Suzanne Black & Melissa Dunn in background

Great news! Today I received a letter from The Writer's Edge, a manuscript submission/screening service that is recommended on many publishers websites for first time/non-published authors.  They have accepted the manuscript and it will be included in The Writer's Edge listing next month.  This listing will be sent to 75 publishers, including most of the leaders in Christian publishing.

The reviewer wrote, "Readers will be interested in the sometimes dramatic ways that God has worked in your life, and your honesty serves you well as you write about your journey of faith.  You have a compelling story to tell.  ...I want to encourage you to continue sharing your story..."

This last month was anything but down time.  Writing the daily excerpts has given me the opportunity to carefully re-read each chapter, expanding, revising, correcting or clarifying as I went. The result is an even better manuscript. The letter came the day before the last chapter posts.   A coincidence?

Yes, But...

Excerpt from Chapter 30 – Stand At The Cross Roads: For the first time in my life I had close friendships with women I loved and depended upon, women who magically appeared at my side during any important occasion. They worked beside me at the camp. They sat by my bed at the hospital. They brought meals to my home when I was recovering from a broken back. They counseled me, cried with me, celebrated with me. I didn’t want that part of my life to change.

            And this mission I’d undertaken, it was God’s work, yes, but it was also mine. I was the one He had called to steer this ship, and during these years of good times and bad, I was hardheaded enough to keep my hand always at the wheel. I couldn’t let that change.

            Previously, in my childhood as well as my marriages, men took control of my life. That never worked for me. So being in control was a type of self-preservation.

            Pat was stronger by far than any man I’d ever known. By marrying him, I would be agreeing to share my world, to share the camp and the vision God had given me for it. Could I do that?

Carol Moreland, Sally Miller, Mary Stevens 

                                          

                                                                          Jean Bailey, Jane Pulley, Ellen Knight

                                                                            Me & Cindy VanDeventer (standing)

                                                                              Restoration Accountability Group

                                                                                                                                                                                Melissa Dunn                                  




       GOOD NEWS!


     CHRIST OUR LORD IS RISEN TODAY! 

                                                                                        

                                                                                                                 

            

No Expectations

Excerpt from Chapter 29- Stand At The Cross Roads: A moment later, Mary introduced us, and I learned that Pat was her boss. She was his assistant. His office was the first one on the right, which I passed every time I visited her after that.

            He had an impressive roll-top desk, his walls were covered with geological and seismic data charts, and he was always wheeling and dealing on the phone. And when he was on the phone, he was usually pacing. He’d look up, say "Hi," and go back to work. The energy generating from that office was palpable.

            Pat was married back then, so to me he was just Mary’s boss, but he seemed to be an interesting person, a smart businessman, and above all, highly competent. Friendly, easy going, he never minded that I’d come by to visit. And he occasionally popped over to Mary’s office to say hello.

            That was in the early days of Cross Roads, late 1996. By the time Pat asked me out to lunch in September of 2001, he was in the process of divorce and I was recovering from a broken back. After the charity dance I invited him to in February, we started dating again and continued throughout that spring. One day, out of the blue, he said, "When are you going to ask me to go to church with you?"

            Panicked by the thought of what people would think if I showed up in church with a man and remembering our former conversation on this subject, when he’d asked me about the importance of faith in my life - I froze.  Once again, I had been challenged to put my money where my mouth was.

Change Is In the Wind

Excerpt from Chapter 28 - Stand At The Cross Roads: "The camp is bringing in enough revenue now to pay me a modest salary," I explained. "A far cry from the multiple salaries we envisioned four years ago, but enough for food and essentials. With that support, I can spend time marketing Cross Roads and still have time to take care of the day-to-day chores."

            "If that’s what you think you need to do, go ahead," Scott said.

            "We haven’t put out newsletters consistently in a while," I added. "We haven’t nearly explored all the churches within driving distance. With this extra time, I can do both."

            "If it’s what you want to do," Jennifer said ambiguously, "then you’ll make it work. If anybody can do it, Mom, you can."

            They didn’t actually encourage me, but they didn’t try to talk me out of it. I knew they felt as strongly as I did that we were spinning in circles going the way were now.

            Before May was over, I had turned in my resignation at Insite Printing. I was ready and eager to devote the summer promoting Cross Roads.

            Shortly thereafter, Jennifer and Scott came to me with the saddest faces I’d ever seen. Scott nervously hung back while Jennifer stepped forward.

            "This isn’t easy for us to tell you," she said. "We believe in what we ’ve tried to accomplish here, and we want Cross Roads to succeed, but…”